Where Is My Soulmate?
This year, we're experiencing a very special astrological event. Mars and Venus will stay in alignment for an unusually long period of time, from Feb. 13 to March 17. The yin and the yang. Passion. The Divine Feminine and Masculine merging.
And it all starts right before Valentine's Day - which can be such an emotionally charged time of the year.
Yes, I remember it well. Going through a divorce. At a metro station, looking at people hurrying along with roses and boxes of chocolates. The first, delicious blush of love on their faces.
The truth is, it can be lonely to be on your own. And it can be lonely in a marriage. And the opposite is true!
And while self-love can help heal many things, we are wired to yearn for that special connection with that special someone. Our soulmate. Our second half.
YES, Says Your Natal Chart: That Special Someone is Out There for You
Well, guess what? I have done 4,035 professional readings as of today. And I have NEVER seen a natal chart that would be doomed to a life with no partner.
There are several aspects in astrology called “soulmate aspects”: when a soulmate relationship is likely to come into your life.
Most of us will experience at least a couple in our lifetime. Venus and the Sun will align by progression before the age of approx. 63 - and that's for everyone. Depending on your natal chart, this might happen when you’re 15. Or 25. Or any time before your mid-60s.
And that's just one soulmate aspect! I still remember my 81-year-old client asking me if there was another relationship in store for her. And there was!
But, it doesn't stop there. There are many more opportunity windows for a strong relationship to come into our life. In fact, they come at least every 4 to 6 years, when transiting Jupiter goes through your 1st, 5th or 7th House. And I mean AT LEAST. For most people, they happen more often than that. We all have multiple opportunities in our lifetime to meet that special someone.
So, why am I still single, you might be asking?
Your birth chart can feature a challenging Saturn aspect to your love planets (usually Venus and the ruler of your 7th House of Committed Relationships). And that can bring delays and disappointments in the romantic department. Saturn is often about your karmic lessons. Your soul may have chosen to learn how to be emotionally, financially and otherwise independent this time around.
Embrace it – because eventually, the planets in the sky will align just right, supporting your love life (I usually look for a Grand Trine from the outer planets). And if you've mastered your soul's lesson by that time, he – or she – will come!
So that's if your birth chart indicates possible delays in the love department.
Transiting Saturn can also limit your love life for a period of time. There can be a dry spell that lasts for a year or longer. "Yes, there may be fewer romantic opportunities available to you at this time", I say to my clients. "But, pay attention to the ones that do come. They have an excellent chance of becoming a long-term relationship". Saturn is about delays, but it's also about stability and longevity.
We're talking about delays here. As far as challenges in relationships, there can be more at play. I'm working on another post on that...Stay tuned.
Astrology can tell us when the opportune periods for love will arrive. But, from there on, it’s up to us. Remember, we’re co-creating our future with the Universe.
My Aries Client
I literally danced a happy dance around my kitchen, my iPad resting on the kitchen island, still displaying my client’s natal chart. “Yes, yes, yes! She’s going to meet him soon!”, I said. And then I sent her a message.
If you’ve been my client for a while, be prepared for a random message to come out of the blue, saying, “pay attention to this…”.
She had been single for a while, and I could tell it was weighing her down. She was an amazingly accomplished, professional woman – but her luck in the love department wasn’t the best.
Jupiter was about to enter her 7th House of Committed Relationships. And from what I’ve seen, 4 times out of 5, it brings someone into your life. He or she always enriches your life in some ways. They can make you feel like a million bucks. Or expand your horizons. Or be financially beneficial for you. They are bringing a “gift” of some sort into your life.
Yes, she met a guy that year. And he was everything she requested from the Universe. He was hugely successful professionally. Handsome. Single. No children (which is what she wanted).
They started dating. He whisked her away on a fabulous weekend retreat by the ocean.
I couldn’t wait to hear how it went. “Well,” she said, “I told him he was firmly in a friend territory”.
“Why or why?”, I cried. “I know you’re romantically interested in him!” (she was). “Get your Aries planets to back off! YES you love your independence. But you ALSO want to be in a relationship. You're used to being in control, and falling in love can be scary, like falling off a cliff. You’re scared of what it would mean if this relationship took off. Let’s talk about that”.
(She had a stellium – several planets – in her 1st House in Aries. Her Aries planets gave her a larger-than-life personality and fierce independence. To add to this powerhouse, her Sun was square Pluto. She was used to being in charge, and was afraid to lose control. And relationships ask us to surrender control and go on faith and trust. Which can be a scary proposition…)
Long story short, her self-limiting beliefs got in the way. The relationship gradually died on the vine. For years after, she was wondering if he was the one.
All of this is to say – pay attention to the opportune periods that astrology forecasts for you, and work on your self-limiting beliefs so they don’t get in the way of your own happiness!
And I repeat – we ALL have multiple opportunities in our lifetime for a relationship to come into our life.
And About Those Self-Limiting Beliefs
“I need to set an intention to lose 10 lbs first”.
I’ve been running New Moon workshops for 5 months now, and I stay amazed at the supportive spirit and the beautiful souls in each class I’ve hosted.
Working with the New Moon is such a powerful way to help you manifest what you desire. In the workshop, I guide you through a visualization – for many people, this brings an “aha” moment about the self-limiting beliefs that can be blocking you.
It's easy for self-limiting beliefs to stealthily slide in during a traumatic event (such as a difficult breakup), or a series of insidious little messages that gradually erode our self-confidence (for example, unhealthy societal preoccupation with what's considered "beautiful").
It's your mind's way of protecting you. "If you don't go there, you won't get hurt. So let me tell you why you shouldn't go there - or why you shouldn't go there now",
If you’re working on a soulmate relationship, here are a couple of thoughts. We'll start with those 10 lbs!
“I need to set an intention to lose 10 lbs first”.
Well….if that’s because you want to feel healthier and more confident – yes yes yes! But, if you feel you need to do this to attract your ideal relationship, try this instead: “I want to easily be able to attract a happy, fulfilling relationship with a man/woman who will love me just the way I come”.
“I want a relationship, but my kids will always come first. if I have to choose between my kids’ happiness and mine, I choose my kids”.
Awwww you’re a good Mom! Or a Dad! But, why does it have to be either/or? How about this? “I want to easily be able to attract a man/woman who will love me and who will be supportive of me, AND who will be a good stepdad/stepmom to my children”.
Free Soulmate Manifestation Ritual
If you're subscribed to my newsletter, you will receive it on Feb. 13. And if you aren't, you can get it here.
Now for Some Technical Details
You might be wondering, what planetary aspects forecast a relationship? Here are my cheat sheet notes (technical, mind you):
- Progressed Sun conjunct natal Venus, or progressed Venus conjunct natal Sun – a classic soulmate aspect. The Sun will conjoin Venus by progression before the age of 48, but if you were born with Venus as the Morning Star, it can take her a bit longer to catch up with the Sun if she goes retrograde. (Sometimes though, a soulmate comes in a guise – such as a long-awaited and beloved child).
- Progressed Venus conjunct natal Jupiter – this often brings a marriage
- Venus or Mars making an aspect to each other by progression – this will often bring out quintessential yin-yang dynamics. Traditional astrology says, “you will meet a person you’re going to have children with” – and I’ve often found this to be true! There can be amazing chemistry. But, this is not a soulmate aspect.
- Transiting Jupiter moving through the 5th House of Romance.
- Transiting Jupiter moving through the 7th House of Committed Relationships. This can bring an upswing in your current relationship, but also a brand-new relationship that can progress fast.
- Transiting Jupiter moving through the 1st House of Self: opportunities abound in many areas of our life, including love.
- Transiting Pluto or Uranus connecting with your natal Venus or the ruler of your House of Committed Relationships. Pluto will bring a deeply intense and sexual relationship, and it can border on an obsession. Uranus will bring a magnetic relationship, but it might not last.
- And – surprisingly – Saturn moving through your 5th or 7th While it can bring romantic delays, if a relationship comes into your life under this aspect, it will have an excellent potential to become long-term.