Fate or Free Will?
This one is a BIG question! How much of our life is pre-determined, and how much can we change? Most of my clients believe in free will, and so do I.
"The stars impel but they don't compel", an old astrology saying goes. A lot of times, we have more free will then we realize. But...this jaw-dropping story of my client, shared with permission, sure gives us some food for thought.
Darlene and Mike
Darlene came to me for a consultation about her relationship with Mike (not their real names). Things were starting to get serious between them, but she was worried about Mike's track record: he already had four major relationships, and walked out of all of them. She wasn’t interested in a short-term fling.
His birth chart revealed someone who valued his freedom and likely had a fear of being "tied down and trapped". Ladies, if you see a Mars-Uranus square or an opposition in your guy's chart, and you're looking for a marriage and babies, the road to the altar could be challenging...Your guy might need to work through his fear of commitment first! (There is an equivalent of this energy in a woman's chart, but I'll save this for another post).
But, at the time Darlene started seeing Mike, the energy of commitment was about to visit him. Transiting Saturn was going to pass over his Venus and his natal Sun. The last time that happened, 29 years ago, Mike got married to his second wife - and that relationship lasted for 12 years, even though eventually they got divorced. That was his only relationship that resulted in children.
"Ok," I thought. "Let's see how their natal charts line up" (a branch of astrology called synastry, or relationship analysis). And wow oh wow!
I was struck by intense chemistry (Darlene confirmed it was a very passionate relationship). There was emotional and mental rapport. They could be friends as well as lovers. That resonated with Darlene as well.
For Mike in particular, there were very deep love ties to Darlene's natal chart. "He's going to fall head over heels in love with you", I said.
But, I was a little worried that there were no strong Saturn connections between their two charts, and we need that for longevity in relationships.
Worse, there also was a Sun-Moon square: a challenging aspect showing an area of major incompatibility that would eventually creep up.
Yes...Mike fell deeply for Darlene. "Where is that independent guy who values his freedom above all? I feel you're changing me so much", he told her. Things started to move fast! He asked her to move in with him.
They sat down to discuss their possible future together. And, turned out she wanted kids. He, with two kids from a previous marriage, could not see himself becoming a father again. His fear of being trapped got triggered big time.
Remember that Sun-Moon square? It's possible to work around it, but major compromises are usually needed. And, Mike and Darlene couldn't get around it. They broke up.
When I got her email with the news, I was flabbergasted. The energy of commitment was so clear in his natal chart!! A Tarot reading that I had done for Darlene showed babies around him, about a year into the future.
I sat at my kitchen table well into the night, pouring over their charts and trying to figure out what I had missed.
Fast-Forward 6 Months
About 6 months later, I received an update from Darlene. Mike reunited with his previous relationship. It wasn't a love match for him, but their combined incomes afforded them both a better lifestyle. He resisted moving in with that woman when they were together before Darlene. But, now that they reunited, they moved in together, to maximize their disposable income. He ended up in a committed relationship – just not with Darlene!
His partner's daughter was pregnant at the time, and soon had a baby. Spending time with his cute new grandson reawakened Mike’s parental instincts.
It all came true. Mike ended up in a committed relationship. There was a new baby around him, a baby that he truly enjoyed. It just played out in a very different way, because of the choice he made.
But wait...there is another twist in this story...!
Fast-Forward a Year
Another year or so passed. Mike asked Darlene for a coffee, to tell her that he couldn't get her out of his mind, and that he was convinced she was the love of his life. That he deeply regretted that he let his fears take over. That breaking up with her was one of the biggest regrets of his life.
But...it was too late! She didn't want to come between him and his partner, and besides, there was a new guy in her life.
So....Fate or Free Will?
If you've ever ordered a predictive astrology reading from me, it comes with a note: that my forecast is about energies about to visit your life. Most times they play out as life events, but HOW they play out is very much up to you!
And so I will end this post with a quote by Nelson Mandela:
"May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears".
Choose wisely 😉
If you have someone special in your life and you're wondering what astrology says about your relationship, try this super-affordable synastry report.
And, if you'd like a deep dive into the energies that will visit your life in the next 12 months, this reading is for you.