Venus and Your Love Life

Valentine’s Day is just a few days away…. A perfect time to talk about Venus.  After all, it stands for love (and money!) in a natal chart.

What do we need in a love relationship? What kind of romantic experiences will we attract in this lifetime?

Every natal chart is unique, and so are our needs and experiences in the romantic department. 

But first: this post is written by a woman and from a woman's perspective.  While I've had some male clients over the years, most of the readings I do are for women.

(In a man's chart, Venus often represents the type of a woman/partner he seeks.  Venus conjunct Neptune? He might be attracted to a "damsel in distress".  Venus conjunct Saturn?  If you're a professional woman who talks about business over dinner, that might just turn his crank).

But, this post is based on what I see in women's charts.  When I do relationship or love readings, I always look at two things:

The Sign Your Venus is In

The way we approach relationships will be coloured by the sign your Venus is in. If your Venus is in independent Aquarius, you could be perfectly happy to spend the Valentine’s Day in your own company! “I love the freedom of being able to do exactly what I want”, you could be saying as you’re raising a glass to toast your independence.

But, let's say your Venus is in proud Leo.  A Leo Venus needs appreciation! Heavens forbid your partner doesn't lavish you with attention - and expensive gifts 😉 There could be hell to pay! 

How Venus Interacts with Other Planets in Your Natal Chart

A natal chart includes two luminaries (the Sun and the Moon), and eight planets, each expressing a particular energy. You can also look at the asteroids, but I'll keep this post to the planets.

The way Venus (love) interacts with the other planets shows relationships we attract in this lifetime, and possible lessons around love and self-image. It can be very revealing.

For example, my Venus is in relationship-oriented Libra, but it’s also joined with the planet of independence, Uranus. So it can act much like Venus in Aquarius (the sign ruled by Uranus). While I do like being in a relationship, I also need a lot of personal space.  And, financial independence is key for me! For years, my husband and I had separate bank accounts (some pluses and minuses to this approach 😊)

Let's look at some key planetary combos: 

Venus and the Sun: 

If Venus and the Sun form an aspect in your natal chart, chances are, you're someone who is very likeable. But, you also might have a high need to be liked and to receive validation from other people, especially if your Sun and Venus are conjunct, or form an square or an opposition. 

Being on your own might be difficult, and so you can end up in a relationship that is not good for you - because it feels better than not being in a relationship at all.

You might also spend a lot of your energy doing things that please those who are important to you, instead of living your own life.

If this resonates with you, on the next Full Moon you could set an intention "I release my need to be in a relationship at all costs. I choose relationships that are healthy for me".

And your affirmation could be:  "I'm worthy simply because I exist. The only approval that counts is my own".

Venus and the Moon:

Ok, strictly speaking, this is not about your love life, of the traditional meanings of this aspect in a female chart is that it bestows good looks. Every time I have a live reading with a new client, I test this astro-tip.  Do their Moon and Venus make an aspect in their natal chart? And, amazingly, 9 times out of 10 the client is good-looking. 

I digress, but another thing to pay attention to in the looks department is Neptune in the 1st House.  There can be something irresistibly alluring about the person. 

Venus and Mars:

If Venus and Mars make an aspect in your natal chart, you'll be looking for some passion, and for good chemistry. If the relationship is lukewarm in the bedroom, you won't be happy in the long run 😉

Venus and Jupiter: nice! Traditionally, this combo is a signature of good luck, in love OR money! If the rest of your natal chart is supportive, that is.

There is such a thing as too much of a good thing though.  If Venus and Jupiter form a square or an opposition, you may be overly generous and prone to overspending.

Venus and Saturn

When Venus makes an aspect to Saturn (=restrictions, delays, but also stability), there can be lack confidence or body image issues. We might think we are not deserving of love. As long as we think that, we might attract cold, critical partners who make us feel like we’re never good enough. (One of Saturn's lessons is confidence and inner strength).

But, Venus always carries the energy of femininity and beauty, waiting to break out and shine. It’s always within us, in every natal chart. Once we get through our self-limiting beliefs, Venus-Saturn aspects bring something very different: loyal, stable partners and durable long-term relationships (as Saturn also stands for stability and security).

Venus-Saturn aspects can also mean a relationship with an older partner, or that a happy relationship will come later than we hope. (Another lesson from Saturn is patience...)

Venus and Uranus

Uranus is a planet of freedom and independence. When Mars (a male equivalent of Venus) makes strong aspects to Uranus in a man’s chart, we talk about a “confirmed bachelor” (=a great need for freedom). While antiquated, it’s still a socially acceptable concept. But – the minute you consider a “confirmed bachelorette”! – all I can see is well-meaning relatives asking me what is wrong with me, and why I’m not in a relationship yet. 😊

In a woman’s chart, a Venus-Uranus aspect can be difficult to handle. It indicates the need for space and personal freedom. If it's you, you might have a big heart, but you might not be an overly warm, nurturing type. Deep down, you might even have your commitment-phobic moments… (I'm allowed to say this, with my Venus conjunct Uranus).

If we don’t acknowledge this aspect – and yes, it can be difficult to do, as societal expectations are working against it – we may attract partners who create space for us, and NOT in the way we might like. Venus-Uranus is notorious for relationships where you meet someone who is already taken (life is not black and white…) Or, your partner may be not 100% available emotionally, or he might live at the other end of the country. We get our space alright, by default!

If you find yourself in a recurrent pattern featuring these themes, consider: do you have a high need for independence? How much “togetherness” do you really need? How can you create space for yourself, in relationships? Once acknowledged, Venus-Uranus brings relationships where two people are true equals.

Venus and Neptune

Every planetary energy has an upside and a downside. Neptune is magical: it’s a planet of dreams and pure romance. It’s also a planet of illusions, when we can’t see reality as clearly as we should. And, it’s a planet that can diffuse our boundaries and create an empath: we feel other people’s pain as if it was our own, and we take on their problems as our own.

Venus/Neptune can be too much of a giver. It will see an injured bird and try to nurture it back to health at all costs. And, it feels devastated and betrayed when the bird gets better and flies away: “I’ve given you everything I had!" But, did the bird promise that in return, it would stay and love us back forever and ever? (This can be hard to face).

Venus/Neptune is a healer, and people will pick up on that. It’s SO IMPORTANT to recognize and take care of your own needs with this aspect.

Once we do that, Venus/Neptune can be truly romantic and magical. It’s also a highly creative aspect, and is often found in artists’ charts.

Venus and Pluto

If Venus and Pluto are connected in your birth chart, the energy can be complex. Pluto is deep and at times obsessive. One of the lessons it brings is power dynamics. It’s best to resist the temptation to control your partner and the relationship when Venus and Pluto are connected in your chart. We may equate sexuality with power. And you know what, your sex life might take some interesting turns and power dynamics... Pluto forces us to look into deep, dark corners of our soul…it’s not your “nice girl next door” planetary influence, that’s for sure!

If you believe in past lives, this aspect can mean an unfinished business, and one of your relationships may be karmic. And, if your partner’s Pluto touches your Sun, Moon, or Venus (or yours does in his chart), it can create a very deep pull, when not being together is not an option. It’s one of the aspects that can indicate a soulmate relationship.

What Does Your Natal Chart Say About Your Love Life?

If you'd like to learn what your natal chart says about your love life and what's coming in the love department, my reading "Love Forecast" makes an excellent choice! 

Or, try "Just for Women" - a very insightful and in-depth astrological profile that covers your love potential, career potential, and so much more!  (Sorry guys, I'm still looking for an equally brilliant report I can provide for men). 

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